Today I was discussing my new goals to have a more positive outlook in life with a close friend. Shortly into the conversation it became apparent to me how much self-awareness my friend lacked. As a pessimist addict, I can spot another pessimist a mile away. This friend? Definitely a user, and one with a serious case of denial. I wanted to get her help—lend her Learned Optimism, point her to resources, show her my blog. But it would have been pointless. You can’t change unless you realize you have a problem. That’s exactly why my treatment with Dr. Martin E.P. Seligman began with an assessment, a test of when I apply optimism or pessimism in my own life. The results give you a view of yourself that "you might not otherwise see.” And, in fact, I was surprised by some of the results. 

     The test measures three main areas: permanence, pervasiveness, and personalization. 

     Permanence is whether you think bad events, as well as good events, will be permanent or temporary. It came as no surprise to me that I view bad events as permanent. Some examples of things I may have said as a pessimist: “I’ll be single forever,” “I’ll never be a size 0,” and, “I’ll always have insomnia.” What did surprise me, though, was learning I have the same approach to good events. When good things happen, I assume they have temporary causes and won’t last. Example: “That date went well, but I’m sure on the next one I’ll learn he’s really an unemployed, pathological liar that lives in his parent’s basement.”

     Pervasiveness is about space. A pessimist will let one problem interfere with all other areas of their lives. With good events, though, pessimists believe they are caused by specific, temporary factors, whereas an optimist will let the good events enhance other areas of their lives. Again, my “very pessimistic” score here did not surprise me. A few more examples of my typical thought process: 
       -- “My hair looks great today. Must be the low humidity. I’m sure it’ll be a frizzy disaster tomorrow.” 
       -- “These new people I met actually want to hang out with me again? Evidently they were too tipsy to
          realize how dull I am. I better bring the wine next time just to be safe.”
       -- “My friend is mad at me. Why do I even get out of bed in the morning? I’m terrible at everything, I have
          horrible luck, people don’t like me, I failed my diet, I have no skills, I haven’t accomplished any of my
          goals, and my life’s a mess. I quit!”

     The final area, personalization, measures how you feel about yourself. Do you internalize and blame yourself for bad events (pessimist) or externalize and blame circumstances and others (optimist)? This is when I began to question Dr. Seligman’s credibility. I shockingly scored “moderately high self-esteem” in this area. I rechecked my answers and triple checked my score. It appeared I was already a master of the Blame Game! However, I did go on to get a moderately high pessimistic score for how I view my accomplishments. As evident in my earlier examples, I attribute them to luck, coincidence, or others, and not my own doing. Indeed, I was a pessimist, one whose overall score indicated I could “definitely benefit from a change in my explanatory style.” 

     The good news is that while my scores showed I have little hope, Dr. Seligman says I’m not hopeless. Pessimism is merely a bad habit of thoughts and beliefs that aren’t necessarily true. Once I realize these thoughts can be challenged, I’ll be on the road to challenging them—while filling my glass, one drop at a time.